What I Think Married Sex Will Be Like
October 15, 2010 Leave a Comment
It is believed that only the most excellent sexual encounters are accompanied by moustachioed birds.
After almost seven years of dating, I will finally be tying the knot. Needless to say, my man and I have been intimate: “danced the wild monkey dance,” “knocked boots,” “gone fishing,” “had dinner at Applebee’s,” and so on. But, once we exchange our vows and say, “I do,” doing “it” will be totally different. I have heard from other married ladies that married sex is great! Once you’re married, your man is all about you. There is always a soothing, mustachioed Spanish man sitting in the corner of your room with a guitar to serenade you while wild, mustachioed white horses gallop across your bedroom. Beautiful birds, also with mustaches, sweetly tweet Pavarotti from your window. Roses begin to spring out of the walls while chocolates and other sweet delights fall from your ceiling. After each climax that your man provides for you, fireworks light up the night sky and rainbows burst forth from your nipples. When you are both finally finished, the London Philharmonic breaks into your room and beings to play John Phillip Sousa while all of your friends and family applaud and cheer. Then you and your man cuddle the rest of the night away. And, you’ll never have to give head ever, ever again.
